Update: AITAH for Cutting Off My Ch*ating Fiancée and Her Family — Now She’s Gone Forever

I never expected to write an update—especially not one like this.

When I first posted my story, I was devastated, confused, and overwhelmed. I received messages of support, harsh truths, and even requests for an update. I didn’t think I’d return, but after recent events and some life-shattering news, here I am.

A Quick Recap

I found out my fiancée had been cheating on me. It tore me apart, not only emotionally but physically—I lost nearly 15 kg, my mental health spiraled, and I stopped eating. On top of that, I had financially supported her and her family for years, helping them escape poverty. After I discovered her betrayal, I ended the engagement and cut off all financial assistance.

That decision, according to some, made me the bad guy. But what followed revealed just how deep the betrayal ran.

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The Truth Comes Out

A month and a half ago, a mutual friend of my ex reached out. She had seen how much I was struggling and felt guilty about the secrets she’d kept. We met at a plaza, and she told me everything:

• The affair started during my final year of university—when I was barely home and overwhelmed with work.
• My ex had dropped out of nursing school, not due to money (as she told me), but because she got pregnant by the other guy and had an abortion.
• She continued seeing him while I thought we were building a life together.
• She got pregnant again, while we were trying for a baby—unsure of who the father was. Another abortion followed. She lied to me, claiming she had bladder issues.
• Her reason for cheating? “He was better in bed.” Nothing more.

I couldn’t listen to any more. I went home and cried myself to sleep.

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Her Appearances Didn’t Stop

Even after we broke up, she would show up at my house, begging for forgiveness, while still living with that same man. I was conflicted—until I learned the full truth. The next time she showed up, I lost control. I screamed, I lashed out. My throat hurt for three days.

I went to the police for a restraining order, but they laughed. “Man up,” they said.

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Then Everything Changed

About five days ago, my mom kept calling while I was at work. I messaged her during my break. She had sent me a Facebook news video.

The headline? A woman had been assaulted and killed by her partner.
The victim? My ex.
The man? Her affair partner.

I was in shock.

I unblocked her parents and called them. Her crying mother couldn’t speak. Later that evening, her older brother came to confirm the news and asked if I’d come to the funeral—to forgive her, at least symbolically. I agreed, though my heart felt hollow.

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The Funeral & Final Goodbye

I arrived with my parents. Her family greeted me like a long-lost son. Some even said they missed me.

The casket was closed. Her face had been too damaged to show. The last time I saw her alive was the moment I screamed at her.

That image will never leave me.

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The Full Story, Revealed by Her Brother

After the funeral, her brother pulled me aside.

He confessed that he had known about the cheating but stayed silent to preserve the stability his sister’s relationship with me had brought their family. He told me:

• The affair partner regularly cheated on her too, boasting to his friends.
• He verbally abused her. Once, he hit her.
• Neighbors had called the police three times.
• She’d often sleep at her brother’s house, but he couldn’t keep her—he had aging parents, teenage sisters, and a pregnant wife to care for.
• She always returned to the man who ultimately killed her.

Their final fight turned violent. The police arrived too late. He had already run.

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Where I Stand Now

I don’t know how to feel. There’s no satisfaction, no closure—just emptiness.

I didn’t want this. I wanted her to grow, to reflect, to maybe one day live a better life—even if it wasn’t with me. But now, she’s gone.

Her betrayal broke me. Her death broke something else entirely.

If there’s anything I can say to those reading: don’t ignore red flags. And don’t let guilt tie you to people who use you. It won’t save them—and it might destroy you.

Thank you to everyone who read my original post and encouraged me to find strength. This isn’t the update I wanted to write, but it’s the truth.

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Trigger Warning Recap: This story contains themes of cheating, emotional abuse, physical violence, and death.

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Was I The Ahole for leaving her and cutting her family off?
Even now… I don’t think I was.**

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